Dating apps are just video games where everyone loses.

Working from home only works because nobody can see you lie down between meetings.

Group chats should have a 3-message-per-hour limit enforced by law.

Poached eggs are the worst type of egg

Open-world games are 80% walking simulator with extra steps.

Most 'spicy' food is just mildly inconvenient and people lie about loving it.

Pineapple belongs on pizza and the haters are simply scared of joy.