Most 'spicy' food is just mildly inconvenient and people lie about loving it.

Pineapple belongs on pizza and the haters are simply scared of joy.

Cereal is a soup. I will not be taking questions.

Poached eggs are the worst type of egg

Sports are just reality TV for people who refuse to admit they like reality TV.

Working from home only works because nobody can see you lie down between meetings.

Dating apps are just video games where everyone loses.